


Remnants of Yesterday - Volume 1 - Indigo

by skaivri



Series: Remnants of Yesterday [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Crimes & Criminals, Drama, Fiction, LGBTQ Themes, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Original Fiction, Slice of Life, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 18:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaivri/pseuds/skaivri
Summary: Remnants of Yesterday is an on-going series of mine with the first volume titled: IndigoLieutenant Yamashina Kyonori is working on secret case which has ties to a past incident that altered his life. He searches for the truth behind his lover's death and a special drug known only on documents as Stage Indigo. Despite the odds piling up against him, Kyonori strive forward hoping to solve the case and put his past ghost behind, all the while losing himself into that very past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Original Work.  
> COPYRIGHTED@skaivri@gmail.com  
> places, cities, people, establishment are made up for pure fiction only.

 

* * *

 

**Prologue**

* * *

 

 

 

_Hinageshi Red Light District, Shinkano City – June 10, 2012_

 

Damn frog rain! Nori cursed as he ran through an alley. His right hand pressed over the wound on his side. His thin jacket did nothing to ease his anxiety. He felt cold to his bones.

The plan had just been another night out when evening began. The usual gathering of seven friends down their favorite pub. Instead they found the bar closed off for renovation, which prompted them to venture across town to a lesser frequented territory. More like they didn't frequent it anymore; not since they outgrew their delinquent high school days.

Shinkano's red light district, Hinageshi, used to be the happening place for them. Drugs were the one thing they stayed away from. Other than that, they'd come here to do all sorts of evils. From the crazy karaoke parties to taking girls into love motels, and the underage drinking along with illegal gambling. To add on was the constant fights against rival gangs. The fights were the worst due to the escalating level of violence.

However, after losing one of their friends to a deadly encounter against a rival gang, they decided it was high time to walk the straight path. The loss had been too great of a tragedy to bear. The incident had altered them all one way or another.

They were all now twenty-one-year-old adults. Good standing citizens of society. Which came to say, they should have stayed where good citizens stayed. They shouldn't have revisited Hinageshi district because just thirty minutes after entering a random club, they ran into old foes who had not forgotten or forgiven them for past transgressions.

The confrontation escalated to heavy verbal insults and shoves, which got them all kicked out by the club manager. The face-off continued outside and hell broke loose when they failed to talk their way out a physical brawl. New faces arrived on the scene to add to the mob of thugs. These newcomers even had their choice of weapons from various knives to sledge hammers. 

Their group's only exit strategy was to scatter in different directions. Forget the cars since they wouldn't make it passed the parking lot alive. They each ran for their lives and kept doing so even as the night worsened with a downpour. 

 

****

 

By eleven, Nori had run his way south of Hinageshi, entering into the Aokata slums, a decaying territory on the eastern outskirt of the city. There, a trio of thugs caught up with him and cornered him into a fight. Despite having become a good citizen, he still possessed the same fighting edge he had back in his delinquent days. His fast reflex and the speeding velocity of his punches were still his kill act. He'd always been quicker than most fighters he'd fought in the past. And that hadn't changed.

He fought them with everything he had and ended up with a knife grazing his side. He took them down fast to avoid staying in the rain any longer. He'd been running in the wild storm far longer than his body could handle and felt himself becoming weak from it. While the thugs braced the cold concrete, struggling to get back on their feet, he took that second to get away. 

Cutting through corners and alleys, he went on until he felt he was out of the assailants' sight. Using that small window of distance, he found himself a hiding spot. The backstreet he stepped into was even darker than the last. The narrow lane was a dead end with a stack of wooden crates against two dumpsters by a ten-foot iron fence. The alley stunk like a thousand dead rats. Never smelled such horrid odor before but he figured the sinister scent was worth the comparison.

Nori did the only thing that came to mind. He climbed up the crates and hopped into one of the dumpsters. Survival was a primitive trait when facing a do or die situation. It made swimming into a pile of rotten-god-knows-what garbage ideal to getting stabbed to death by a bunch of psychos.

The moment Nori jumped in, he fell onto something unexpected. Nevermind the death polluting odor. What suck the living out of him was the person pulling him down as they sunk further beneath the ghastly waste. 

Nori struggled against his assailant, causing his wound to tear a bit more. The sting had him hissed a grunt through gnashed teeth.

"Shush!" The voice hushed and a hand covered his mouth.

Nori's heart receded to its steady pace and he stopped moving. "Sen. What the fuck, you ended up here too," came his murmur. It was his best friend.

Outside, a pack of thugs ran up to the alley's entrance. Two of them came towards the crates, shouting Nori's name. They kicked and smashed the wooden stack off as if expecting to find him hidden behind it. They opened one of the dumpsters and the smell shooting up their noses had them cursing out loud. One of them was mad enough to kick the dumpster. Before he could open the second one, the comrades from afar called out to move on. Once the thugs left, only the ambience of a grumbling sky remained.

Nori drew a breath, teeth gnashing again. "Fuck."

"What's wrong?" Sen asked.

They toppled one another under piles of nasty torn plastic bags and wet cardboards. Sen shoved a few things aside to give them the much-needed room for air.

"Fuckin' bastard had a knife at me earlier." Nori told.

"Shit. How bad?"

"Dodged most of it but I ain't gonna lie, it stings as fuck."

"We'll move when it's safer. The fence is our only safe way out. Can you climb?"

Nori palmed Sen's forehead to stop the latter from fondling where his wound was. "Quit fussing. The cut's not bad."

"Well shit, just making sure I won't have to haul you on my back that's all." Sen retorted.

Although Nori knew he would. Sen would do more than carry him over a fence – the guy would carry him across a battlefield if needed. And he'd do the same in return. There was this unspoken rule that existed between them.

"You reek of feces." Nori uttered.

Sen scoffed. "And you're all Sakura bloom yourself."

They fell quiet again just listening to the heavy rain. A while later when the coast was safe enough, they crawled out of hiding, and climbed over the fence. They landed onto what appeared to be the back alleyway of an abandoned textile shop.

"Call your driver." Sen advised.

Nori shook his head. "Lost my phone in the struggle earlier. You?"

"Out of battery." Sen replied.

"B'sides, I can't just phone up home and tell them I got myself into a ditch again. Our last little adventure still has me off the old man's books, he's been leaving me dry lately." Nori reminded Sen.

"Aw shit, yeah." Sen fumbled through his pocket for whatever cash he had left. "How much on you?" He asked and Nori pulled out a few bills. "900 yen," he said as they put their money together. "Fuck! That's not even enough for a cab fare past this shitty territory. Damn, it's moments like these I wish I had a plastic card."

"Sorry, mine's not working at the moment, but maybe this cash is enough to buy us a night here." Nori thought up. "Remember the old eatery we use to frequent during high school."

"Mushino Noodles and Express Food? It closed down years ago." Sen recalled.

"Yeah but the establishment behind it is still open."

Sen's brow drew. "The dump-hole? Even then it's across this slum to the east of Hinageshi! That's a freaking forty-minute-walk."

"No phones, no car, no money. We're fucked. I'd rather try for a shitty place than freeze my ass running any longer. We can't return to the club's lot, Sen. Those fuckers are sure to guard our car, if they haven't already beat it out." Nori declared.

Sen couldn't argue that so they maneuvered through the slum with caution, stopping to hide whenever they sensed danger. A careful travel took them longer than the regular stride – better safe than dead in their case.

Once inside the inn, or dump-hole as Sen called it, the old woman at the counter gave them a split-second glance as if the brisk arrival of sodden strangers oozing of foul odors was an everyday norm. Considering decadency was the inn's ultimate appeal, perhaps it was. Without a word, she took the money they tossed up. Then eyeballed them. A scowl vivid on her face as her hand extended forward asking for more.

They had nothing else to give so her gaze settled on Sen's necklace, which he refused to give up. Irked, she threw the money back at them and waved her hand at the door, directing them to leave.

Nori drew up his plastic card, shoving it towards her. "It's locked but it'll be active again in two days – pin number's 3401. I can't make you believe me, you'll just have to take my word for it. There's enough to cover your expenses for a few days. I won't report it stolen. Just give us a room for tonight, please. Please, mam."

"Nori—" Sen protested but felt his friend's hand latch around his wrist.

She looked at them, reluctant to take the bait but the young man's desperation won her over. She figured whatever they were running from was probably life threatening enough for them to toss up a major plastic card, which already told her they weren't from this part of town. She didn't want dead privileged kids within her vicinity who'd attract people from the bureau. Decidedly, she took both money and card before ushering them to the smallest room she had available for the amount she was given.

What braced Nori and Sen was a space resembling a bathroom with its pasty white concrete walls. It even came with its own tiny area of a drain pipe shower and toilet. A tall slim cabinet with a microwave-sized TV sitting in its hollow space, and an old wooden chair with chipped legs sat by the door. Neither furniture did anything for comfort, and were probably only there to lessen the atmospheric lavatory feel though failing miserably. The bed was a single mat rising a good foot off the floor, which to their dismay seemed rather crowded for two people. Still, anything was better than freezing in the storm.

As soon as their bedroom door closed, Sen began with, "Sorry. I couldn't do it—"

"If you had given it up," Nori cut his friend off, "I'd have beaten you bloody. I was there that day. When your mother said her last words, and gave you that charm so don't fuckin' degrade what she left you with by apologizing. Money's only paper. And it's my old man's papers so there's plenty more where that came from."

Sen flopped down on the bed. "Acting all high and mighty, shit," he smiled, "thank you."

Nori stood in front of Sen and flicked the latter's forehead. "Blockhead." He said shifting his gaze to the shower.

Sen looked up. "Pokerfaced." Following suit, he knew what Nori had in mind.

"Dumbass." Nori retorted with and began his move.

"Deepshit." Sen countered.

On cue, they both attempted to dash toward the shower for first use but intercepted each other in a wrestling match onto the bed. They horsed around until Nori emitted another painful groan.

"Shit, your wound. We gotta clean it up." Sen admitted defeat, moving off Nori.

"It's fine. I'll do it myself."

Sen shoved him back onto the bed. "Don't fuckin' know how to let me act high and mighty for once, do you?"

Nori chuckled and obliged. "Guess I can play the obedient patient for a night, so hurry up and patch me up."

"Patching coming up." Sen fetched the small hand towel from the cabinet then opened the cupboard to see if there was any antiseptic solution or something close to it. All he got was a small bottle of bleach. He looked at Nori and back at the bleach in hand and sighed. Rubbing alcohol was preferable but they weren't in the luxury to be picky. Besides just a few drops of bleach should be fine to help with disinfection.

"Strip." He knelt next to Nori and waited for the latter to expose the cut. The wound wasn't deep but did run down long. Looking at it made Sen want to pound his fist into the bastard who carved the mark onto Nori.  "You'll have to do with this bleach shit."

"No choice. Let's get on with – FUCKIN' SHITTY MOTHER OF BITCHES!" Nori's entire body clamped down from the sting as he grabbed a handful of Sen's hair. "Fucking warn me, stupid bastard."

"Alright, alright, let go of my hair, asshole!" Sen kept shoving against Nori's chest.

"You fuckin' did it on purpose." They broke from each other's hold.

"What, quit accusing me," but his grin gave him away, "fine, fine. I thought it'd be hilarious to watch you make a dump-face." He laughed hugging his sides.

Nori kicked the taller man a few feet off him. "I'll get you, don't forget."

"Yeah, yeah." Sen moved on to grabbed the extra bed sheet on the shelf and tore off a sliver for bandage use. "I'll help you wash up – can't risk getting it any damper." He got up to toss the bloody towel into the bin.

"We help each other. Wash my back and I'll wash yours." Nori offered.

"Guess we can both use an extra hand. Hell, every inch of us needs to be scraped off. Freakin' stench is cause enough for a rat infestation in this room."

Nori wore a put-off expression. "Don't even want to imagine what that dumpster was home to."

"Better not to." Sen concluded.

They went on to disrobe and get on with showering.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1

 

 Chapter 1

 

 

_Aokata District, Shinkano City, August 2026_

 

 The apartment buzzed with police officials. Among the commotion a young rookie raced outside to vomit his latest indigestion over the second-floor railings. His squeamish actions resulted in a few laughs and banters from senior officers except for those inside the house who remained undisrupted.

Two Special Investigation Bureau agents from the 27th District and a lead forensic fixed their gazes on the four bodies scattered over the floor of flat 16. A man in his late forties, one elderly woman, another woman around the age of thirty, and a boy no older than ten. The old woman and the boy were shot execution style while the man and younger woman had been dissected in a precise manner as if whoever did it went on a scavenger hunt inside of them. The couple's organs were all missing.

"Drug deal gone bad?" Said one of the SIB agents as he pressed the cloth in his hand firmer to his nostrils.

The carcasses had a lethal odor dating back a few weeks and were infested with maggots. Add on the decaying apartment's scent as well and the combination was as foul as sulfur. If it hadn't been for the old greedy hag landlord who kept harassing the closest police station to come help her evict the tenants, then today's findings would never had happened.

The old lady had been calling the station five days in a row about a noxious stench coming from flat 16 and how the tenant had been late in paying rent for two weeks. However, the Koban officers at the station didn't take her claim seriously because it was the Aokata district. Any case coming from such place was blacklisted as minimal urgency. Plus, the landlady hadn't sounded like she was even worried about the tenants but merely wanted the cops to play rent collector.

Aokata was the slum of Shinkano City. A place where lost souls lived. People who were running from something or someone, along with those who'd long given up on living a decent life. Drugs and prostitution was the way of life here. And it wasn't the sort of prostitution the red-light district offered either. Here, prostitution had a different meaning – one which had mothers selling daughters, fathers selling sons and the vice could even be said.

Majority of the cases from Aokata were overdoses and missing persons who went unreported because there was usually no one coherent to report them. In fact, the only reason those missing persons even made it to the search list was because they owed someone something and bounty hunters were often sent after them. Even then most of those bounty cases went on cold. Over the years, the city has tried to establish better laws and programs to help the district but those living inside Aokata only reach out so far before resuming to their old habits. In the end, the city fed up with losing tons of money to try and rebuild Aokata gave up on it. One city mayor even suggested that only a martial invasion would clean up Aokata, and such talks had been in debate since then but so far nothing's been concluded. They were many who opposed martial regulations of any kind. That and rich people didn't want their precious money going on to sponsor any form of assistance, be it military or innovated solutions, to help those they deemed unfit for life. Thus, Aokata remained a shithole. People here wanted cops to solve crime, they just didn't want to be part of the help.

Proven true to Aokata nature, the landlady dismissed the cops once they arrived. She refused to cooperate in speaking with them and even went as far as barring herself inside her apartment yelling through the door for the cops to find her rent money inside  that apartment.

"If it were a drug deal gone wrong Lieutenant Honjo, there'd be no need to gorge these two out." The forensic team leader said. "And this is Aokata, haven of junkies. Nobody comes here for organs, so it doesn't explain this type of killing either."

"If not over drugs and organs then what? I mean look at this place." Lieutenant Honjo Kazei, a five-year agent with SIB, muffled out his comment through the fabric held against his nose.

Flat 16 might's well be a gift boutique of ' _All Things Dead_ ' in hell's lobby. There were heaps of torn garbage bags filled with things that couldn't even be described piled up all around the room. Its floor was streaked with black dirt and blood everywhere. The single couch in the room was stripped to its bare wood and coated with fecal matter. A lone pillow with a nation of fungus was stuck between the couch's backsprings. By the side was a small round table with a set of old drug needles stained with blood residue. And the walls, they were decked with membranes of god-knew-what vining up to the ceiling.

"Despite the gruesomeness, Mobile Unit could have handled this. Why call SIB?" The second lieutenant said.

One of the senior uniformed officer said, "Because this is the fourth of its kind. First incident was two months ago in Ehime Prefecture – two women. The second killing was four days after, in Hiroshima City – three teenage boys. All teams who worked the cases made no connection until last week, the third incident in Hatsukaichi City just an hour south of that last one. Forensic results came back with a positive match that all these murders were done with the same tool, a pencil grip scalpel. And only someone with immense surgical experience could gut someone this cleanly."

The second lieutenant stood from his crouched position. "Forward all results to our division including all labs on the past three homicide scenes."

"Lieutenants," one of the uniformed called from a corner of the flat, "what do you make of this," he held up a blueish-purple marble, his fingers gently squishing it, "found it underneath this heap of plastic garbage. Looks like a bath gel, evidence or garbage?"

Kazei didn't care for it. "Garbage." He said but his partner had a different opinion.

"Neither. Just give it here," said the man after having peered at it for a long moment.  

"Yes, sir." The officer dropped the gel cap in the lieutenant's hand and walked out of the room, a finger scratching his temple wondering why the man wanted the dirty gel-cap in the first place.

When all inspections of the crime scene were done, the two lieutenants headed back down to their car with Kazei's curiosity peeking. "You a fan of bubble bath now, Yashin."

Lieutenant Yamashina, or Yashin as Kazei called him, took to the wheel. "What, a man can't enjoy himself a bubble bath?"

"A man can. Not you." Kazei testified.

There was nothing laidback about Yashin's personality. He was all sharp edge, which contrasted his attractive visage. Fucking gorgeous face but Kazei knew damn well no one should ever mention it lest they earned Yashin's wrath. Their partnership had taught Honjo that Yashin reserved very little if nothing back when he struck a person. Reflexes and all, Yashin was capable of taking down three or four men in one go because the bastard always knew exactly where to jab a person to get them on their knees.

Yashin tossed the capsule to Kazei, and started the car. "Ever heard of Goryumo Lab?"

"Yeah, their shake down was all over the news back in 2003…was only in sixth grade then."

"What if I told you that before they were infiltrated and shut down by government forces, they were able to hide their last specimen."

Kazei's eyes lit up. "No fucking way! You're pulling my leg." He held up the capsule and peered at it. "It's just a damn bath gel."

"Glove compartment, open it." Yashin instructed, "Place it where it's darker and you'll see."

Kazei frowned but he did as he was told. He put the capsule inside the dark space. "Now what?"

"Look closer." Yashin said.

"I don't see—" Kazei left his words hanging while eyeballing the tiny particles inside the capsule irradiating blue lights. "How the fuck did you even see this from where you were standing earlier?" He swore there had been a good twenty feet between Yashin and the uniformed officer.

"Sharp vision," came Yashin's dry reply.

"This thing glows in the dark." Kazei commented.

"It's doesn't. It's just that you can detect it better in dark environment. Its particles absorb light and stores it for days. Once the cycle is over, the capsule dulls and becomes useless."

"How the hell do you know that, or if this thing's really from Goryumo Lab? Even Major has her doubts to what it looks like – as well as her boss, and those above her boss."

Simple, Yashin had seen it before, as a drawing. He read up on the drug's creation by accident so he can well distinguish between a harmless bath capsule and this specimen.

Ten years ago, he'd gone into his father's study to find answers regarding the Rakujin Incident; one of the biggest hostage crisis ever to take place in their country. Since then, he'd been chasing this drug's tail, hoping that one day he'd come across the truth which sat at the center of all the mystery of that life changing event.

The Rakujin Incident had taken something from him – his future. What remained of him was a shell that breathed out of necessity in order reach the finish line of this case. When all was done, when he finally solves Rakujin, he hoped he'd still have enough strength left to live out what's left of his life.

"Yashin," Kazei threw his partner a side glance.

"Yeah," was his breathy reply.

"Whatever's up in that thick skull of yours, you ain't gonna share, are you?"

"We keep Major out of it." Yashin replied out of context, ignoring his partner's plea.

Kazei whistled. "You looking to end your career early."

"Major stays out of it." Yashin maintained.

Kazei raised a hand up in surrender. "Hai, hai. Whatever man but it'll be hard to look into things without Major being suspicious."

"We don't look." Yashin cut short, and after a moment decided it was high time he revealed a small fact. Mainly to test his partner, "I have someone off the books."

Kazei peered at Yashin. "Four years together and I'm just hearing of this."

"Nothing personal. I needed time."

"For what?"

Yashin's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "To make sure you aren't one of _his_ loyal dogs."

"Ah so that's how it is." Kazei's partner didn't have to say who this ' _His_ ' was. He'd learned that whenever Yashin said ' _Him_ ', the man was referring to only one person; the great Commissioner General, Yamashina Hideo. "And have you? Made sure that is?"

"I've got my resources but I also know his resources outstretch mine." Yashin said.

"I see. So hypothetically, what if I were one of his loyal dogs?"

"Hypothetically, I'd put a bullet in you."

Kazei laughed. "And I thought my old man and I were the only ones who had it bad."

Yashin didn't trust people. There was only one exception to that and Honjo Kazei hadn't made the list. His partner may just be a mere pawn in this tug-of-war scheme between father and son. Even if he exhausted all of his resource to dig up the guy's background it wouldn't matter. He'd long ago learned that his father, Commission General Yamashina Hideo, was always going to be a step ahead. It had been a hard fact to swallow but one that he had to. There was no point in trying to figure out his father's next move – because there was none. The path had been paved beforehand.

But it didn't mean he couldn't maneuver through it because even the best laid out plans could have loopholes. And these said loopholes often led him back to stand before the gate of the Yamashina residence.

 

 


	3. chapter 2

 

Chapter 2

 

Yashin stood rigid staring through the bars of the gold and black gate of the Yamashina Residence. When thinking of home, one's place of childhood, the first thought should be that of comfort and fond memories. That didn't apply to him. This tall two-story stone mansion on the upper scale side of the city was once his greatest nightmare. He'd been too young to notice it back then but the small happiness he'd known for a short time had been a mere illusion veiling a secret. It had taken only a careless act on his part to see behind that curtain.

 

****

 

Yashin had been seven at the time; a timid quiet kid who loved airplanes. Sometimes, when his father came back home from a business trip, the man would bring him the latest design in aero models. He'd run outside with the remote-controlled toy just flying it around to see how far and high it'd go.

His older brother, Ryuichi, would come join him whenever his studies were done, and the two would take turn flying the plane. He loved and admired Ryuichi.

Ryuichi was a kind and collected soul. There had never been anything amiss about his behavior and appearance. Good at everything from studies to sports, he was the family heir apparent. Both paternal and maternal grandparents had been extremely fond of him, and showed him off at social gatherings every time they could. For his age, Ryuichi had a tall athletic body, and his handsome face had always bought him floods of attention from women of all ages.

Their gate used to be ornamented with flowers and love notes all dedicated to Ryuichi from his fanclub. And each time, their widowed headmistress, Mrs. Inaba Umeko would grow mad from having to take down all those ribbons and flowers. She had even once proposed that his parents allow her to use her own pension to renovate their gate for a solid titanium sliding wall where girls wouldn't have anything to tie their love notes onto. His mother had laughed a hearty sound saying girls would just start throwing gifts over the wall then. And she had no plans of keeping Ryuichi from the world or vice versa. She'd told Mrs. Inaba that if taking down the flowers were too vexing then to just leave them to dry there. His mother thought a colorful gate of flowers and love notes all dedicated to her beloved Ryuichi was spiritually inspirational. Those had been her exact words. 

One weekend, his father had finally received time off from work. Their family had decided to have a little picnic in the front yard. His mother and Mrs. Inaba had been sitting on the lawn while their father had gone back in the house for a phone call. He and Ryuichi had been flying a new model their father had brought home from his last trip.

Although it had been sunny, the wind had been strong that day so it had been harder to control the plane. Eager for his turn, he'd playfully snatch the remote from Ryuchi's hand and had guided the toy higher and higher. Laughing together, they ran around in circles chasing each other. Amidst their commotion the plane had ended stuck up their roof.

The wind became stronger and all he saw next was Ryuichi diving off head first because he'd slipped when reaching down too far for the plane caught in the gutter of the drain pipe. On his way down, his head had ended up banging the protruding ledge of the first level causing his body to flip mid-air. The plane and Ryuichi crashed onto the ground. The toy was shattered in several pieces and Ryuichi…

His mother and Mrs. Inaba came running to their side with the latter woman frozen on the spot from shock. His mother on the other hand, had emitted a shriek beyond normalcy the moment she saw Ryuichi sprawled on the ground with his eyes open and in a disjointed position with his head twisted to the side. She had taken Ryuichi in her arms, trying to straightened out his broken neck and place it back the way it should be. Each time failing, each time wailing louder – and louder. Her requiem echoed throughout their residence.

Yashin's small body had advanced forward. His bones had jittered like a marionette on a leash until his knees had dropped by Ryuichi's silent body. His trembling hand had attempted to touch the teen's colorless face but his gesture had forcefully been pushed away. His mother had shoved him off, her eyes glaring at him with something beyond hatred.

He had never forgotten it – her eyes. The way they had sentenced him eternally into darkness. He'd frozen. His child heart had stopped beating for that moment. He'd been so grounded by the soul swallowing abyss in his mother's gaze, locked inside that dimension of senseless void that he hadn't seen or even felt the first blow to his face. Or the second.

He had believed he deserved all of her rage – deserved her hand striking him over and over until a nerve in his eye popped, his face blackened from bruises and his lips red of blood. She'd struck him so hard his blood had splattered everywhere. Even then he couldn't feel the physical pain because shock had overcome him. He only knew he had to stay still and take it.

Mrs. Inaba coming to sense had used her own body to shield him until his father came.

The man didn't even have time to process what had taken place and acted on his first instinct. His father had yanked his mother off him and thrown her onto the ground. She only got up again and clawed passed his father, and had her hands on his small throat, squeezing the life out of him. And again, his father had shaken her off until the stoic man who had never once expressed rage broke his patience. His father's fist had sent his rampant mother flying two feet off. She'd fallen, unmoving next to the dead Ryuichi, weeping and mumbling things no one understood except for his father. She'd cursed them all until she had no more strength to utter another word.

His father had ordered him to be taken away by Mrs. Inaba, who spend several days nursing him. She had sat by his bedside until he finally opened his eyes again. Even then she hadn't left him and if anything was needed, she'd ordered the other maid to get it done.

One morning when he had regained enough strength to walk, he'd gone downstairs and saw his father standing outside their doorsteps. Curiosity had driven him to stand behind the man. It was only then that he noticed his mother with a suitcase in hand. His father had wished her well and turned away, jolting at his sudden appearance. 

A car had arrived next and his mother had gotten in. She had left the manor, never looking back at either of them. And somewhere deep down, he'd known she would never return. He hadn't been surprised by her action though, and had always known that she had never love him like the way she loved Ryuichi.

As a child, he had believed that all mothers behaved the same. That it was natural law for mothers to love and cherish only the first born while treating the second born as an excess baggage. But a few years later, he learned the truth – about his mother's background, about Ryuichi.

Ryuichi was the son of his mother's first love; the love she couldn't have. The love of a lifetime she had to give up on, in order to protect both father and son from her own parents.

The thing was, his maternal grandparents were the sort of authoritarian social elites to make things disappear should they choose to. To secure their new corporate deal, they had forced his mother to marry his father who haled from a politically endowed family. Those two old folks had threatened the life of his mother's lover without knowing she was already three weeks pregnant with his child.

When Ryuichi died, his mother had written her parents a cease and decease letter saying that if they ever went looking for her, she'd expose them for the monsters they were and kill herself as a grand public exit. In her letter, she'd revealed the truth about Ryuichi's biological lineage, and how he was her one and only loving son. She went on to declare that since she couldn't have the love and life she had always longed for, then her parents didn't deserve a grandson either. She'd confessed to killing their real grandson the night she gave birth to him and to hide it, she'd bought a baby off a prostitute to raise – that he was such child.

His maternal grandparents had stormed after his father demanding the truth. However, his father had neither denied or confirmed his mother's story. He'd told them he was wasn't around that first week when she'd given birth so he couldn't tell them whether she made it up or not. Outraged, his grandparents had ordered his father to get a paternity test done on him. His father had told them it'd be better left unknown, else they'd have no heir if it turned out that he was truly the son of a prostitute.

In truth, he really was his parents' biological son. His father had never doubted that, purposely leaving the prostitution claim ambiguous for the sake of pissing off those two old folks.

It was the last time he'd seen his grandfather explode in rage. The old man must have taken his father's words to heart because no paternity test was ever done. And whatever inheritance his mother's family had been given him at birth had been reduced to a bare minimum of university grant. A few months later, news of his maternal grandfather's passing came about. And his father's indifference to the old man's death along with his absence from the funeral was the last straw which severed all ties with his mother's family. Afterwards, his father gave up on family business, married their headmistress Mrs. Inaba to give him a mother, and began to make his way up the police chain.

 

****

 

"Young Master," came a man's voice.

Yashin's thoughts scrambled upon the sudden appearance of his father's righthand man. The man had grown old over the years. Maybe in his late sixties now. His hair a mixed of silver and black, gave him a vintage essence. The man's attire was the only thing in the last thirty years which hadn't changed. As far back as he could remember, he'd only seen the old man wear a dark gray suit. Styles and colors had never made a presence in Mr. Satoya's life – or humor for that matter.                                     

"Is there is a reason you're stalling there? It is your home, you needn't wait for anyone to open the door for you, Young Master," said the stoic man.

"Home, huh." Yashin walked on passed the old man.

"Young Master, if you've anything you'd like me to do, please let me know. I am going into town for some errands in a bit."

Yashin halted. "Mr. Satoya, you needn't try so hard. You and I both know I've ceased _staying here_.  My mother is the only reason why I step foot here, now where is she?"

"You can't stop this old man from hoping, Young Master," Mr. Satoya curtsied. "Madam is in the greenhouse. I believe she's still working on the orchids."

Yashin paid the elderly man no more attention and moved on to the back of the manor where a tropical nursery was. Entering, he caught sight of the only virtuous figure in his bleak life. The one exception to his not trusting anyone. "Mom."

She looked up, one of her cheek smudged with a bit of dirt but nevertheless a picture of warmth and loveliness. "Kyo. You're home." She sprinted to his side. "I'm so happy to see you. It's been too long."

"It's only been six weeks." He simplified to which her nose wrinkled.

"Six weeks too long. If I had it my way, you'd be home every day." She hooked an arm around his and walked him to a corner of the greenhouse.

"You wouldn't get tired of my needy self?" He teased.

"If only you were so," she smiled, "but Let me show you my new addition." She took him to a set of large camellias. "What do you think?"

"They're beautiful. I didn't know camellias came in such rich colors." Yashin found the blossom's sangria shade, a deep purplish red, fascinating.

"They're new hybrids. And very much in demand." She smiled.

"Ah so you plan to cultivate them into business?"

She nodded. "Let's go inside. You're just in time for dinner."

Yashin liked coming home to her cooked meals and converse about the process of her flower business. Back then, the backyard had been nothing but dried flowerbeds, a large old waterless fountain and a picnic bench area. The former lady of the house wasn't one who cared much for yards and stuff so the estate had been a simple landscape. All that was taken down though. The boring oak trees casting too much shadows on the lawn, the wild flowers which turned to weeds from lack of care, the stone picnic table – all these were gone. The estate was remodeled into a green field with a fish lotus pond, colorful blossom trees and a tropical nursery house.

His mother had turned this once dreary place upside down and brought in more vibrancy. If not for his strenuous relationship with his father, he'd probably visit more often and not just on the days the man wasn't home. That and he detested Mr. Satoya's prying eyes. When he was here, he had this nagging sensation that his every move was being watched. Keeping an eye on him was the only reason why his father hadn't taken Mr. Satoya with him to Tokyo.

"Are you doing good, Kyo?" Her voice filled with concern.

Yashin nodded. "Busy with cases, that's all." He watched a shadow cast over her face.

"One day, I'd like to see the real you again…if possible," came her soft words.

He knew what she meant. The real him. Not the meek innocent boy she used to protect but the one born after that. She'd been there to witness it all. The change that took place with him. How he grew from being an invisible, pitiful child into a young man filled with raw passion for life. One who lived with a vengeance to spite the woman told him he wasn't a worthy creation. Someone had taught him to live that way. Someone who had been his life force. That person was no longer, leaving him only half alive.

"We both know it's not possible," he reached across the table to place his hand over hers, "but it doesn't mean I'll stop living. So please don't look so sad each time."

Her eyes teared up a little, saddened by his response. "Let's get you settle in for the night." She said and they left the table for the young maid to clean up.

She ushered him to what used to be a storage space at the end of the corridor before it was turned into his guestroom. His old bedroom was located on the second floor but since moving out he hadn't returned to it. He had no plans to. Whatever he left behind in this house he no longer had a use for. And each time he visited, he'd always request this guestroom so eventually she renovated it to suit his taste. This house with its miserable history, he always wondered when it would be put up for sale. There really was nothing here for any of them. Regarding his mother's nursey business, it could easily be moved elsewhere.

"Mom," he started but hesitated.

She could hear the distress in his voice. "What is it?"

"My old man has given you this estate, you can easily do away with it and move to somewhere livelier, so why stay? This place…" he stalled looking out the window to where the picnic table once was. "Has never embodied true happiness." As he spoke those words, a flashback of Ryuichi arching down to the drain pipe and smirking while starring at the seven-year-old him came to mind. The vision sent a shudder down his spine and he shook it off by tearing away from the window.

"You're all I have. I stay where you stay. I'll go where you go." Umeko said with a soft voice.

"I'm sorry." He mustered. He hadn't realized he was the reason. "There are times that I want to give up because part of me feels that it's pointless since the past can't be undone. To start anew oversea – anywhere. But each time I find myself unable to move. As if something keeps calling me to stay."

She trapped one of his hands in hers and hugged it to the curve of her neck. "Intuition. It's your intuition. I told you to live for the truth so don't be sorry. Be strong, Kyo. Be nothing but strong. Also, don't mind me, will you – and you're wrong. This place did bring me happiness – it gave me you when I'd lost my whole family. Your father was kind enough to hire me to care for you. Perhaps because he saw how distant that woman was with you." She smiled and patted his cheek lightly. "Now cheer up. I'll make you your favorite breakfast tomorrow."

He grimaced. "I’m not five anymore."

"Five or fifty, makes no difference to me. I'll still enjoy making you your favorite breakfast."

Yashin chuckled but the smile faded away just as easily. Reaching the inside pocket of his twill jacket, he took out a small plastic zip bag and handed it to her. "Pass it on, will you."

She stared at the item for a second then nodded. "This is the fourth one you've found in the last six years. Is it like the others?"

"I think it may even be _The One_." He said.

Her pupils dilated. "How certain are you?"

"I was called into a homicide scene dating back three weeks. That capsule was found on site, still emanating light even after all that time. Only a true specimen could carry on for so long but I don't know how much time we have left for a full accurate analyzation. According to past notes, a perfect specimen lasts anywhere from two to five weeks."

"I see. I'll have Hack put a rush on it." Umeko slipped the capsule inside her pants pocket.

 _Ah Hack_ …Yashin was just reminded he’d be paying that person a visit soon. Another two weeks and it’ll be _that time of the year_ again.

The thrice-a-year routine visit was the only business he saw Hack for. Anything relating to the case had to go through his mother because she wasn’t on his father’s radar - yet. She'd managed to keep a lowkey in her involvement in his case. In fact, he met Hack through her during his most turbulent years because she’d been so desperate to save him from his own destruction. And Hack had provided him with an outlet from his misery – even if only temporarily.

"Does Mr. Satoya suspect anything?" Yashin wanted to know where the leak would come from if ever his secret investigation came to light. Currently, there was only three people, his mother, Hack and recently Kazei, who knew he was investigating things off the books, and Satoya wasn't one of them.

"No. I've known that old bark long enough to sense when he's got his eyes on me. As far as he's concerned, I'm just running a floral business. But why do you suddenly ask?"

"I did a background check on Honjo when we were first assigned as partners. He came out squeaky clean but I can't be certain my old man hasn't polished that up. So, I told Kazei that I have an unnamed source working on this case."

"You want to see if he'll leak it to your father or if it'll be Satoya." Umeko confirmed.

Yashin only nodded. "Truth is, I could use another hand but I won't get anywhere with someone who may intercept every move I make. You know as well as I do that my old man and I are on different terms on how to end this case."

"I do believe your father means well. I know he's omitting something from you and he'll probably go on doing so for your sake." She looked at him and saw determination written all over his face. She knew that no matter the cost, he was going to unravel every stone in his way to find out the truth. "But you don't believe he has the right to make that decision for you, so the two of you will go on clashing until this case is solved."

Her voice echoed a drift of sorrowfulness, which hollowed out the pit of his stomach and he wished he could be more for her. There was no better person in this life than Inaba Umeko. She had been there through thick and thin with them, and was still able to love them. Both he and his father. Her only wish had always been to see them reconcile and for once realize that a loving bond between father and son could exists.

 "Thank you. For all that you are, mom."

She smiled as she placed a hand to his cheek, patting it once lightly. "Good night, My Young Master." She said gently and left him to rest.

Once alone, Yashin went to his desk and opened the side drawer. He lifted up the bottom board to reveal a hidden layer when an old journal dating back to fourteen years ago resided. The notebook wasn't thick, just about fifty pages – fifty pages which meant the world to him. Fifty pages of pictures, of scribbled confessions and promises to come. Dreams of the past on inked papers.

Yashin drowned himself in the picture he held up. The person in it was the core of everything he once was, and everything he'd become. Tracing over the visage's contour, his finger came to rest over the person's lips. Forever captured still-life lips which will never be able to return his affection again. His heart raced as fleeting memories of youthful days spooled around in his mind.

 

 

 **_//_ ** _Hinageshi Red Light District – June 10, 2012…_

_Maybe it was the remnant of adrenaline from their marathon in the rain against those thugs – or the relief of their current safety. Who knew a shitty-hole-in-the-wall lodging would feel so sanctifying? Whatever the case, an alarming tension compacted into their tight atmosphere. It was absurd since they'd seen each other naked plenty of times before from attending public baths together, but tonight felt new somehow._

_A hand running there. Another glossing here. Suddenly, the magnetic pull between them became unbearable – to the point that if the small space between them wasn't quashed soon, they'd suffocate to their last breath. The thumping of their hearts drummed on louder and faster. And the look they gave one another felt as though they could hear each other's lifeline vibrating out. Sanity was thrown out and replaced by savage desperation. Within one synchronized blink of eyes, aiding each other bathed unfolded into getting each other off._

_From the shower to the bed, trembling and sloppy, moving with uncertainty, they began an inquisitive conquest to discover each other like innocent sweet virgin lovers would on their first night together. Except, neither of them was any of those pure things. Plus, patience had never been a well-practiced custom between them so the marveling exploration soon escalated to a sybaritic coition._

_When the moment of folly came to a finish, the tempest in their chests rescinded to orchestrating droplet beats. Breathing became a thing of systematic harmony. A strange stillness ruled inside the room. Not the awkward kind of strange but the conscious sort._

_Nori remained on the mat, back bracing the wall. His gaze lost in the small black screen of the cubic television, which resembled something from the eighties. The thought was irrelevant but he felt lucky to have been born after that ugly retro era. He never liked the ridiculous hair and shoulder pads look he saw in old magazines._

_Sen occupied the chair. He sat there hunched over his knees with his hands resting on his head. His eyes fixated on the tip of his toes then moved to notice the ugly color of the floor; a dirty brownish yellow. Observing it, he figured the frayed tatami was older than him by decades._

_Nori swallowed, the flexing on his neck bulging and visible. His mind wandering on about insignificant matters to postpone the surge of waking thoughts._

_All the while, Sen began chewing on his lower lip. His consciousness refusing to lie sleeping much longer._

_They weren't saying a word, nor making eye contact, but they knew. Both cognizant of their thoughts being identical. They lost themselves in a trance of self-reflection, cycling on about the same questions. When and how, what and where, what would come next, or should come next._

_A clash of thunder struck the sky to affirm that comfort belonged to another realm and silence only solidified the dread. Though who should break it was up in the air. The sky roared again, a meeker grumble._

_"I," came the unison word, then a long pause ensued causing both of them to clear their throats._

_"Sixth grade," Sen took the initiative. "When you transferred in, the teacher mentioned that your family had spent time traveling Amazonia. Every boy wanted to be your bestfriend. The girls couldn't stop rambling on about you. They were so eager to have a cool classmate who'd seen things they hadn't experienced."_

_Sen chuckled at the memory as he went on. "But you were one fuckin' ominous being. Silent and cold, refusing anyone's approach and treating everyone like they were eyesores. Kids began to hate on you then. Calling you names and even picking on you. I believe their favorite insult was, That Creepy Alien From Out of Space."_

_Nori smirked as a flashback of his sixth-grade year came to him. Ah he'd been one bitter kid at eleven years old. Scarred by a past family trauma, he'd been unable to socialize with anyone. The mere thought of friendship seemed impossible at the time. Shedding his thick cocoon however came easier than he'd imagined when a certain eccentric boy intruded on his personal space. He was surprised by his own need to respond. Stranger was how close he and said boy became over the years, even landing them in this tacky room together._

_"So, I've been wondering for the longest time," Sen scratched his neck. "You're from a prestigious family and all. And there were three other kids of similar status in our class. So why me? Why'd you respond to me?"_

_Nori's gaze shifted from the TV to hold Sen in plain view. "Because you were the only one who had this idiotic look on your face. The kind that said you didn't give a damn who I was or where I'd been. I was just another kid for you to fill your boredom with."_

_"What?! I came off that shallow?" Sen was a bit taken by the reply._

_"No. Just so carefree. I used to think that nothing could harm you. Every day, you came to school with that stupid jovial face of yours as if you had the whole world in your hands – or loud mouth in your case." Nori admitted._

_"Hey!" Sen protested to being called a loud mouth._

_"Right, like you can prove otherwise." Nori said._

_Sen's nose scrunched up. He couldn't. He really had been a mischievous insolent loud brat growing up. He straightened up and leaning into the chair, he crossed his slender legs at the ankles. "So, what you're saying is, I was damn impressive even at that age, eh." A smug grin plastered his face._

_Nori hissed, "Don't get so cocky bastard and turn what I said into a compliment."_

_Sen laughed. "But you know, I was just gonna let you be all sulky and stuff, not bother with you one bit. But we ended up in the same junior high, even in the same class too so I had to put an end to it." Sen informed in a nonchalant voice._

_Nori grunted. "It's not like I couldn't take on those kids' bullying."_

_Shaking his head, Sen emitted another chuckle. "That's not it. I could tell you were the type to handle yourself damn well. No. What I wanted to end, and understand, was your annoying endless gaze. Your gloomy eyes used to follow my every move."_

_Nori moved over to the edge of the mat and planted his feet on the floor. "You…"_

_"Didn't think I noticed?" Sen still wore his proud smirk on, "With the way you ogled me, it was only a matter of time before I stepped up to you – especially when we were going to be attending the same school for the next three years."_

_Nori leaped forward but tumbled down with a knee hitting the floor after two steps. Hell, he'd forgotten about the pain from their bed rumpling session until it shot up his back._

_Sen sprinted to help his friend back onto the bed. "Calm down, Nori. I wasn't being funny or insulting. I'm just looking for answers."_

_Nori blinked. "Answers to what?"_

_In an Indian pose, Sen's chin rested on a brought-up fist as his eyes pondered sideways. "When and where it all started."_

_"Our friendship? Isn't obvious—"_

_"The thing, Nori. The thing that's become us." Sen stated and witnessed how Nori's expression lit up in bewilderment._

_"The th-thing -- us?" Nori couldn't move passed Sen's tasteless portrayal of…well damn. Shit, perhaps it was a thing since he was lacking any other word himself. "And you thought going back to the first time we met would give you answers?"_

_"Isn't there a saying that if you get lost somewhere, or was it, lose something -- shit like that, just retrace your step? Wouldn't going back to the beginning be the logical thing to do? I mean, to find our turning point."_

_Nori frowned even deeper. "Logic and you in one sentence, do you even know what logic means."_

_Sen jolted. "Whathefuck! I've got brains!"_

_"I've seen your fist swinging out first countless times before your brain lit up neurons to consider other options. You're a classic case of, Brain What Brain?" Nori droned in dry humor._

_To that, Sen grunted in defeat, only mustering a distasteful face at Nori._

_Nori massaged his temple and groaned from fatigue. He adjusted himself under covers saying, "Since I'm the one who was breached into, I'm entitled to the bed so good night."_

_"The hell! Making it sound so damn technical and cheap." Sen felt slightly insulted, that and he really didn't want to feel the discomfort of either chair or floor but seeing Nori's daggering glare had him raise his hand up in defeat. "Please take the bed."_

_Nori closed his eyes, turning on his uninjured side for better comfort. "I'm kidding idiot. It should fit us both if we," he stopped short realizing what the next word was. Oh, the hell with it, they were passed that point._

_"If we spoon." Sen finished the sentence._

_Silence transcended upon them for a moment._

_"Why are you still on the floor?" Nori incited, and a second later, heard Sen mount the bed._

_Sen's warm lips touched his friend's nape. He latched an arm around the slender man's waist, careful not to touch the injured part. "Nori." His breath kissed the said man's ear and felt the latter curled against him. "I've seen you naked plenty before but I've never counted them."_

_"Quit spewing weird shit out, moron," came Nori's reply. The heat of Sen's mouth against his skin sent his heart racing all over again. Stupid sensitive body, came the thought._

_"Seven. Seven beauty-fuckin'-marks from your nape down to your, well, palace entry." His grin was big and childish. "Makes good for some bird constellation migrating South-Pole if one plays connect the dots."_

_"Pa-pal-ace entry?" Nori staggered, trying to register the pun within the rest of the words. He rolled two hard knuckles behind him and slammed them against Sen's forehead._

_"That fuckin' hurt, Deepshit!" Sen barked and rubbed the back of his hand over the burned spot._

_"Being a fuckin' idiot has its retributions, dumbass." Nori grinned. Palace Entry, Constellation, and Bird Migrating South…Only Sen could utter such depraved stupidity._

_"Fuckin' retribution, I'll give you retribution." Sen turned Nori over and topped him._

_"The fuck happened to treating a patient kindly." Nori teased. He looked up the pair of eyes above him and saw his own reflection._

_"That so, have I not been kind?" came the inquiry. Sen leaned down bringing their noses to almost touch._

_Nori reached up and flicked Sen's forehead. "You've been kind," his index finger ran down the man's chin and up his mouth. The digit toyed with Sen's lower lip._

_Sen caught the traveling finger in his mouth and grinned. "Yeah? How kind?" He mused, his mouth let go of the finger and moved down to graze Nori's lips._

_"Sky high." Nori muttered and watched nostalgia wear Sen's face._

_The unspoken rule that existed between them…Sky High._

_It was more than a promise between friends. More than a pact. More than an oath of loyalty. It was an instinctual seal. Their seal; the invisible red thread that bound them together through thick and thin. Engraved between them for the first time nine years ago during their eighth grade year, when rather than help Nori fend off the bullies that had cornered him, Sen had just sat by and watched the whole scene go down._

_…"You gonna cry for your mommy now?" He sneers down at the beaten-up boy sprawling on the ground behind their school's gym._

_"Fuck you," is his rag reply._

_The taller boy with the brightest smile says, "Don't know why you let them kicked your ass and don't care, but when you get tired of it, just rise. Rise sky high – to where I am," with that, he walks away whistling …_

_Thinking back on that day made Nori kind of miss the years when all they knew was to raise hell, laugh about it and tell tall tales of their glories._

_"Shit, if I knew it was going to be this good," Sen said between kisses, "I would have jumped you sooner."_

_Nori was surprised by the revelation. "You idiot. You saying you've thought of doing this before?"_

_Sen chuckled. "Not just once. I don't know…the train of thoughts just sort of happened – and I couldn't shut it off. But in my defense, you're partly to blame."_

_"What stupid shit are you going on about now?" Nori couldn't figure out what he'd done to set Sen on this path._

_"Sure, play innocent but hell, the way you look at me sometimes, Nori, it's enough to boil my balls."_

_Nori's shoulder shook with laughter. "Swear, I fucking hate your stupid analogies. Fucking idiot."_

_Sen's grin widened. "Yeah, whaccha gonna do about it?"_

_Nori locked his arms around Sen's neck and brought him down for a hard kiss. "How's that?"_

_"See, you are to blame." Sen teased._

_As their lips sealed again and again, Nori realized how much he enjoyed Sen's tongue intrusion in his mouth – among other intrusions being done to other parts of his body. It was their first time together but Sen had a way of coaxing him to relax and let himself go. He didn't have to hide and put up barriers. With Sen, he was who he wanted to be – someone high on life, living the present like there was no tomorrow yet all the while paving is own future; with Sen by his side._

_When the room turned black and quiet, Nori reflected on their friendship. He admitted to sharing Sen's curiosity. Their turning point – Sen had called it. When, where, and how. It bothered him because he was attentive to details. Yet he'd failed to notice the change in their friendship. Tonight's outcome couldn't be a spur of the moment thing. Decade long friends didn't cross over the fence on impulse. Not without having reached some similar level of infatuation somewhere along the way._

_It had never been a secret in their social circle that they shared a deeper connection than the rest of their friends did. They knew everything about each other; likes, dislikes and all other family stuff. In high school, they shared almost everything. Even the girls they dated. Oh hell, he remembered the girls. They shared those girls like sharing the cigarettes they smoked. They even lost their sixteen-year-old virginities to the same college girl in an experimental threesome. Yes, they had an acrid reputation in the dating department. That somehow didn't deter the girls from coming their way thought. They were a good-looking pair of delinquents after all. Still were. The good-looking part that is. Truth was, their dating habit hadn't changed much since high school._

_In fact, nothing about them had changed even after their copulation tonight. Cussing and squabbling was as on par as the hour before. There was no shying away, no lightning bolt declaration, and most of all no grand revelation of any kind. They were their same old selves – with an added awareness. **//**_

 

Yashin stirred awake. Morning shot into his room through the window. He'd forgotten to pull the drapes closed yesterday. Slowly, he pulled himself up and caught sight of the photo by his pillow. He picked it up and walked over to the journal he'd left opened. He placed the picture back on the page where it belonged and stalled, looking at it longer.

People said time healed wounds. He'd like to meet those people and beat the living out of them for making stupid shit up. He only had desperate longing – wishful hope that one morning he was going to wake up and see that person sleeping next to him.

For every day after the Rakujin incident, he'd gone mad trying to off himself, and dosing himself to sleep because he'd convinced himself the whole incident was a mere nightmare. Believing that if he slept long enough and woke again, his life would go back to what it was.  

It was his mother who brought him back to sense. Umeko had been so furious with him when she and his father found him near death in some halfway house's bathtub. He still remembered the slap she'd given him when he woke up three days later in a hospital bed. His father on the other only had on a blank expression and once seeing that he was alive left as quickly without a word.

Umeko had remained with him and in tears, she'd spoken words which had weighed in on his life. Those very words made him want to crawl back onto his feet.

_..."You stupid child, if you die this way, both of your existences would just be in vain. If you truly loved that person, then live. Live and search for the truth, and carry that truth with you to your old age so it wouldn't feel like he died for nothing…"_

 

When he stopped trying to die, when he cut off from the drugs and drinking, he made her words his one and only goal. So time did take away the insanity, it just didn’t heal him. He closed the journal and put it back in its hidden place. Next month marked twelve years exactly since the Rakujin incident. Twelve years since he lost that person.


End file.
